Growing up as a Boy

When I was a kid, I didn't have much hair. So I grew up with very short hair, dark skin, and skinny body. My mom told me that the elementary school's principle thought that I was a boy after she looked at me and misheard my name as "Iwan" (instead of my childhood name of "Yowan"). So she was really surprised when she saw me in skirt.

I didn't grow up with dolls, princesses, or barbie. In fact, the favorite toy in my house when I was growing up is Lego, in which my siblings and I would turned into guns and buildings to play "Rambo". In addition to trees and gates, I liked to climb on roof and just pretended that I was trying to conquere the Mount Everest. I don't like the girly stuff and I am not into frilly dresses. When I was in middle school, I was stopped by the rest room lady at the airport because she thought that I was a boy trying to enter a women's rest room.

I guess I am a bit tomboyish or maybe just a late bloomer...

Being a Middle Child

Whether you believe it or not, there is such thing as a middle child syndrome and I have one. Born as a second daughter, I have an older sister and a younger brother. It's hard to explain what went on that actually convinced me that my dad loves my sister and my mom loves my brother, more than me. I felt different and I felt less-loved. I started to develop this feeling when I was around 9 years old.

When we were young, my parents helped clean our ear wax (or korek kuping in Indo). All three of us would lined up on their bed and waited for our turns. One of my parents would hold the flashlight to make the ear wax visible and the other will do the digging. It was trully an enjoyable and relaxing moment as all of us would be in the same room and we got to "ohh-and-ahh" when my parents were able to pull out one of those really big ones.

As we grew older, this activity become scarce since all of us were getting busier, which made this activity even more special than before. So I was really sad when I started to realize that my parents usually spent more time cleaning the ear of my siblings than mine. They said that because my ear lobes are small, I don't have many ear wax. A very logical explanation indeed, but to me at that time...it was just another proof that they love my siblings more than me.

So I rebel and started to separate myself away from my parents and siblings. "Fine...if they want to have fun without me, I'll just go and create my own fun!" I gave my parents lots of headache afterwards by skipping school (I climbed out of the school gate and ripped my skirt), by venturing out with bicycle to big roads (I got hit by motorcycle and becak), by going to a friend's house after school without telling my parents (we swam in the fish pond and climbed jambu tree), etc..etc..

What a naughty kid I am...but what a FUN childhood it was!

The Beginning

I am not a gifted writer and I am not very good at expressing my thoughts/ feelings through words. However, with everything that had happened and are happening in my life right now, I feel like I need a way to record them. I laughed, I cried....through pain and through joy, they shape me to become who I am today. These experiences need to be remembered so I can praise God, again and again, for being in my life and guiding me through them.

So this is my journey...to the promised land....